Free at Last, Free at Last!

Not to sound too much like Martin Luther King, but indeed I do feel "free at last" in terms of getting official clearance (on 12/9/09) to begin driving again and to start back to work on 12/14/09 pretty much full-time.

Yesterday marked three months (that's 90+ days for those of you who need a total) since my surgery, a time when I was told that I would not be able to drive for three months and that, possibly by around this time, I would finally be able to wear a soft shoe, not just a CAM boot any longer. I bought some nice sneakers with velcro straps on them that have been fine for my physical therapy appointments and for wearing when I go out and they are a nice change from the usual stiff-backed boot or splints I was wearing in the very beginning.

Today in physical therapy was tough, but it was even more evident that I'd gone on to a new phase soon after I left. I had a terrible time walking without limping, as my achilles tendon had just been worked pretty well, even though the exercises didn't seem all THAT gruelling when I was doing them. I made the mistake of going to the grocery store right after my appointment and it didn't take long until my PT worker's words rang true: "You're going to start having some pain, some swelling, and it's going to feel like a setback at first because, in phase one, it was just massaging the foot and ankle and doing some partial weight bearing. Now we need to move on to full weight bearing and stretching the very muscle that, for two months, you were told to stay OFF of." So I shuffled rather feebly down a few grocery aisles, got what I needed, then shuffled home where I could plop on the couch and do some light massage on my now sore tendon. Think it's going to be an interesting re-entry back to world of walking again! When I saw my surgeon yesterday, she pretty much signed me off of Workers Compensation though she did agree to have me return to work for six hours a day for the first two weeks, then back up to my usual 7.5 hours, so worker's comp will still pay a small portion of my salary but not for very much longer.

I immediately started to feel my wheels turning about going back to work, where our census is down, staff are not happy, and management may be looking to make more cuts in hours. A co-worker visited me earlier this week who pretty much summed it up as "it sucks there right now" which, again, put me on notice that whatever relaxation I may have gotten these past twelve weeks will be greatly challenged when I step back through the doors of my agency next week. That said, I know I will need to focus on staying within myself and not letting too much stress stick to me. I have been deep in the thick of the toxic work environment several times before in my life and know very steadfastly that I don't want to go back there....ever again! My co-worker shared with me that she had gotten some startling health news recently that was helping her re-evaluate what was important to her/not important and I realized I felt very much the same way. Being "out of the loop" made me terribly anxious at first, and now, conversely, I feel that way about being IN it. It should be interesting to see how much I can remain within my bubble of calm and self-improvement as I re-enter a busy, chaotic workplace.

The most important thing to me now is my continued recovery and progress in walking properly and without pain. I am certainly NOT there yet. I also need to work at getting off those 6-7 pounds I feel I have put on (some of my clothes are definitely tighter) and just having a regular program of exercise that I can tolerate. I have a home Ellyptical machine that I love to use but I don't think I'll be up to that task for awhile. So, I have to find new and different ways to get my heart rate up without taxing my recuperating body. This should, indeed, be quite "interesting" to experience.