Setting the Bar Low = Pleasant Surprises

How many times in your life have you made the comment to someone going through a difficult time, "Just let me know what I can do..." and then, of course, you forget all about the poor unfortunate slob and your conscience can remain clear/clean!

As a bereavement counselor, I am real big on advising clients to not expect others to read their minds and know magically what they need: you actually need to open your mouth, swallow your pride and TELL them. Really, no kidding, that's how it is in the real world. This is especially true during a time like the one I am going through where humility has to take a back seat...along with vanity (as I wrote about earlier).

Here's the thing: I cannot go out and get my newspaper, nor can I get my mail (trust me, if you saw my front porch and ensuing steps down to the street level you would know what I mean when it comes to my being on crutches). I can crutch my way down to the kitchen to make a cup of coffee or a sandwich but how do I carry it back to the living room or dining room table? Today I faced a minor obstacle like those just mentioned in that I had just received my first worker's comp check and it needed to be deposited. No direct deposit is available with this perk, so somehow it has to find its way to the bank...which is not exactly right around the corner, plus my partner isn't home from work till nearly 7 p.m. With some bills coming due by Monday, I need the dough in the bank today plus I need some cash to pay people back when they get me lunch or groceries or whatever.

So, I sat and stewed about how I would get this task done today, made all the more challenging by the fact that I am aching all through my arms and even my hands now from using my crutches (it even hurts in my forearms as I type this). As fate would have it, a co-worker of mine who I very much enjoy but had no high expectations of during my leave of absence calls me up and starts off with, "What can I do for you today?" She has already been over once to help me clean my house and organize a few things and she did this on her day off which she was now offering to do yet again today. I realized very quickly, "Wow, she is actually for real!" Still ,I hesitated to tell her I needed this banking done. I needn't have worried because she convincingly said again, "Tell me what you need done and I will be up in no time to do it for you." Really? Yes, really.

Not only that, but she said the magic words, "You want lunch from Wendy's?" and we were all set. She showed up within the hour with a chicken sandwich, huge diet coke and chili and after we talked a bit, she was off to do my banking for me. I stupidly gave her bad directions to the God forsaken bank (which is not conveniently located, to say the least) but still she came back with a smile and cash for my empty wallet. You may ask, "So, what's the big deal??" Here's the big deal: I truly didn't expect this co-worker (now officially a "friend") to be there for me in this way. She had told me before my surgery to count on her if I needed help and I sort of yeah-yeahed it, but now it had come to fruition, not just once but twice. It made my aches and pains and severe boredom a little less so. So, set the bar low and you never know what might happen: the people you least count on make their presence known at these times and help make an ordeal such as this more bearable.